There are lots of wonderful ways to spend Christmas, and lots of ordinary ways, and some pretty good ways to ignore it completely. And yet I have managed to find a fourth way: It a painful lonely way which I do not recommend. So, please, do the best to cope with/enjoy your holiday traditions, or you could end up with one like mine – BAD IDEA.
Not one of my drawings – an actual photo of my pre-Christmas face (destroy immediately).
Important steps to take if you want a Christmas disaster:
First, be sure to cancel your surgeon’s appointment on December 20th. After all, your Gastrointestinal Doctor assured you that you could easily wait three or even four months before having your gallbladder removed. No problem if you reschedule for January. WRONG!
Plan a literally jam-packed ski trip but then make sure that your abdominal pains start precisely when everyone is ready to go and has reached peak excitement. FEEL YOUR HOLIDAY SLIPPING AWAY.
Spend a full day in the Emergency Room, transfer by ambulance to Yale New Haven Hospital and then barely catch your preferred surgeon so that he can squeeze you in right before he leaves for two weeks in Austria. Say goodbye to your gallbladder. Be very grateful that it’s gone. Be very sad that your ski trip is also gone. And all of your Christmas plans. Remember with humiliation, not the excruciating pain, but the embarrassing loss of dignity that goes with hospital stays. The many times that the curtains open before the robe has closed. The many strangers who want to poke you under the rib cage (WHERE IT HURTS THE MOST).
Be released in time to wish everyone a Merry Christmas as they drive off to Vermont. Spend several days alone because your suitcase is too heavy to lift and travel is out of the question. (To say nothing of skiing.) Do some laundry. Pay a bill. Watch too much t.v. Sleep too much. FORGET that it’s Christmas. Then REMEMBER that it’s Christmas.
I’m counting my blessings, most of which start, “it could have been worse.” I had a great doctor, fantastic hospital care, and I’m recovering at the fast end of the predicted 4 day to 4 week time frame. I would like to feel REALLY sorry that I don’t have delicious cakes, cookies, and pies to go with my oatmeal Christmas dinner, but I’m not allowed to eat any of those things. YAY! SAVED FROM MYSELF.
Even for me the Christmas spirit peeks through. Endless holiday movies on t.v. Snow still on the ground in Connecticut. I actually like oatmeal. And my gall bladder must have weighed 3-4 ounces AT LEAST! So there’s losing weight, which counts twice as much at Christmas because everyone else will be gaining. HAH!
Hope your Christmas is Merry and Bright.
